author: Nicole J. LeBoeuf

Things I will do next time:

• Have a schedule.
  
• Bring laundry detergent.
  
• Bring a camera.
  
• Not turn on the TV.
  
• Memorize the "I don't actually ski" speech

My husband and I kinda sorta bought a time-share sort of thing last year, which means we're in debt but we get a week during the summer in a two-bedroom suite at the Sheridan Mountain Vista resort or its equivalent. The "equivalent" part is kind of complicated, but looking at our options for vacation exchange and split weeks and whatnot, we've decided I get to use up part of our space/time allotment in minature writing retreats in the Vail Valley.

So Bridget and I drove on up last Sunday for a two-night stay in the standard bedroom suite. We brought our laptops and our works-in-progress, an ice chest full of food, a bag of even more food, and, in Bridget's case, yoga equipment. We can now say we have test-driven the home resort and found it to be all that and at least half a bag of chips.

Wireless internet is not officially available at the Mountain Vista. At the desk, they give you a little piece of paper with the local access numbers for AOL, MSN, Juno, &etc, and if you're an owner the local call is free. (Bridget found that she couldn't actually use the number for MSN. It was constantly busy.) However, I am here to tell you that throughout the day two different unsecure networks with out-of-the-box SSIDs floated in and out of range. Usually they were "look but don't touch"--that is, my computer attempted to connect briefly before throwing up its little hands in despair--but once in a while I did get through.

Now, if you want reliable internet, what you do is, you walk out of the resort, you hang a right, you hang another right at the traffic circle with the horse statue, you walk down to the last traffic circle before the street dips under the highway, and you head into the strip mall on the left. This contains Loaded Joe's, a cafe/bar/wiFi hotspot. (I emailed WiFi Free Spot about them, and the webmaster had the new link up within the hour. He's quick.) A word of caution, however: If you are hungry, either rise with the sun or fortify yourself elsewhere, because the breakfast burritos sell out rapidly.

There isn't a lot in the way of desk space in the standard bedroom, not much more than the table itself, which we kept messy with food things pretty much the whole time. But I found that if I put my laptop on the little drink stand that's next to the armless chair in the bedroom, and opened my three-ring binder with the manuscript in it on the foldy-strapy-suitcase-stand-thingy, I could work on the WIP comfortably.

I admit I did not get noticeably more writing done at the resort than I do on a typical day at home with nowhere to be. Mainly that was because of cooking meals and soaking in the hot tub and going for long walks, all of which were enjoyable uses of our time. However, there were other reasons. Sleeping late on Monday and Tuesday. Not getting right to work after unpacking and eating Sunday evening. Websurfing whenever I got a useable wiFi signal. Websurfing the hell out of our time at Joe's. Turning on the TV and watching Iron Chef and Teen Titans, for crying out loud.

Next time, I hereby decree there will be Schedules. We will Nag Each Other about them. We will Crack The Whip whenever whip-cracking is appropriate. So I Say; So It Will Be DONE!

And... we will learn not to sound so tongue-tied when some well-meaning resort person on the elevator says to us, "Why aren't you on the slopes?" "We don't ski; we're writers" has a nice ring, but it implies one can't be both, and that bothers me. How about, "We don't ski; we're just here on a writing retreat"? I like that better.