“If this is not what you expected, please alter your expectations.”
Mark Morford

author: Nicole J. LeBoeuf

actually writing blog

this fictionette is like an onion but there will be plenty onions
Fri 2015-12-04 23:50:58 (single post)
  • 2,996 words (if poetry, lines) long
  • 1,052 words (if poetry, lines) long

Lo, another Friday has arrived--well, to be honest, it has just about come and gone; I got to the writing things quite late, but the bills are all paid and the kitchen is really clean. Anyway, I've posted this week's Friday Fictionette. It's "The Thing with Feathers," which as we all know is Hope.

The piece is oddly literary in flavor. The speculative element is more magic realism that urban fantasy. And I had to rerecord the last paragraph for the MP3 because I, er, got a funny sort of cough and maybe something in my eye the first time around. You know what I mean. It would not be the first time something I wrote made me tear up a little at the end, but generally it's the longer stories that do that, longer both in terms of word count and hours spent in revision, and the effect is partially just "Finally I got it right, hallelujah, what a relief." It's a little weird for something as short and quick as a fictionette to do that to me.

So now I'm wondering, maybe I should have saved this one to develop into something I could submit somewhere pro? And I'm reminding myself that the Friday Fictionettes project is partly about teaching myself to let go. Story ideas are plentiful. I don't have to hoard them. There's enough of them to go around.

Meanwhile, the alien space glue apocalypse story did indeed receive a rejection, and has already been sent out to meet more nice people.

Other fiction projects have been put off for next week. Just you wait.

i am very impressed, but then i am easily impressed
went out and spent some money, lookit
Wed 2015-12-02 22:34:32 (single post)
  • 1,400 words (if poetry, lines) long
  • 2,996 words (if poetry, lines) long

Rejoice! I have finally replaced my camera. I have also gone grocery shopping and returned home with, among other things, fruitcake fixings. Now I have combined BOTH bits of good news into ONE splendid photo, which you can see here.

Fruitcake! Will contain almonds, currants, green (golden) raisins, candied ginger, strawberries, and dates. I will decide on the booze tomorrow when I actually process everything and start it soaking. It will probably be scotch or bourbon, considering what's currently in the cabinet.

Camera! Currently contains date stamp. This will be adjusted shortly.

The camera is a Nikon Coolpix S3700. It was on sale at Target, and further marked down as a repackaged item. Now, I didn't go into Target thinking about cameras. I was shopping for strings of holiday lights to donate to my roller derby league's holiday parade float (Because we're going to skate in a local holiday parade, of course). But the holiday section was right next door to the electronics section, which reminded me that I'd been meaning to replace my previous camera, it being ten years old and furthermore having recently ceased to function.

So this new camera boasts 20.1 Megapixels, which is a revolution in comparison with my previous. Its view screen is breathtakingly sharp--again, comparing it with my old camera. It's zoom function seems darn near lossless. It has a function list longer than my arm, and--ooh!--an auto-extending lens. Look, I'm over the moon just because this camera doesn't need a rubberband to hold its battery case closed, OK? My standards are somewhat generous here.

Mainly I'm just pleased that my options for Friday Fictionette covers are no longer restricted to A. find Creative Commons (commercial use OK) or public domain images online, or B. take a really crappy photo with my flip phone.

So there's your happy technology content. As for writing content, well, soon as I'm done with this-here, I shall be logging the most recent adventures of "...Not With a Bang, But a Snicker" in the Submission Grinder and in my personal log as well. I got a response to its latest submission just this weekend, but I haven't even opened the email yet because I've been drowning in NaNoWriMo writing and NaNoWriMo catch-up. If it's a rejection, I'll be figuring out where to send that sucker yet. If it's not a rejection, expect some crowing. Next I'll be spending a little revision time with "Down Wind" to get it ready to to go and meet some very nice people itself. I think that's enough for a well-rounded late night, don't you?

but let's give credit where credit is due
Tue 2015-12-01 22:24:42 (single post)

I may have gotten all optimistic too soon. I forgot about the other significance of the end of November and thus NaNoWriMo: Spending December the First catching up on everything that didn't get done during NaNoWriMo.

So there wasn't all that much fiction activity in my day. There was bill paying, holiday planning, and the writing up of notes from last weekend's roller derby clinic to share with my league, as promised. (I totally counted those notes on my timesheet. It was writing, darn it, and I get credit for it. I filed it under "Misc. Content Writing - Pro Bono.") There was also an unseemly amount of sleeping late, about which the less said the better.

There wasn't grocery-getting, however. There just wasn't time. But I said we'd say nothing about the sleeping in, right? Right. Tomorrow. Tomorrow there will be groceries. Somehow.

Breakfast was fried eggs alongside slices of bread just baked last night. John baked me bread, y'all. I am the most lucky person ever.

File tonight's blog post under "I don't know what to write, but I'm supposed to write something, so here you go." I get credit for writing it, too.

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the significance of november's final day
Mon 2015-11-30 23:34:03 (single post)
  • 50,181 words (if poetry, lines) long
  • 1,190 words (if poetry, lines) long

It is the last day of the month, and that month is November. Which means today is somewhat of a big day!

First off, I done released the Fictionette Freebie for November 2015. While the brand new fictionettes that go up every first through fourth Friday are accessible exclusively by subscribers (which is to say, Patrons pledging from $1 per month), one of those four story-like objects will become free for all to read or listen to on the last day of the month. This month, it's "In the Shadow of Next Tuesday." That's the PDF; here's the MP3. You can download either or both regardless of your subscriber status.

Secondly: A winner is me! I brought my new novel's word count past the 50,000 mark this evening, putting 2015 to bed as another winning year at NaNoWriMo. The draft is rambling all over the place, and many of the characters' conversations comprise no more than me brainstorming the plot through their mouths, but it is a draft. It is not a blank page or a mere idea. And it will be the target of some focused editing hours. When? I don't know yet. Don't bug me! It's still only November 30...

Thirdly: With NaNoWriMo over and out of the way, I get to use my workday afternoons to prepare fiction submission to paying markets! Which is awesome. I have a small handful of stories that just need a few tweaks before they're ready to hit the slush again, and now I have time to make those tweaks. One of those stories in particular I'd like to send to a market that's opening to submissions on December 1.

Oh! FOURTHLY - fruitcake. If I'm going to make it this year at all, I'd better start it, like, tomorrow. I have to go to the grocery anyway. Might as well add "4 lb. dried fruit and nuts" to the list.

YPP Weekend Blockade Roundup, Nov 28; Get yer Tropic Class Sloop now!
Sat 2015-11-28 13:03:04 (single post)

Good morning, Puzzling Pirates everywhere! It is Saturday. The blockade window opens in just a few minutes. There's... not a heck of a lot of them. Just one on Meridian, two event 'kades on Cerulean, nothing at all on Opal and Jade.

The real action is on Emerald. There will be a couple 3Ps at noon, both of them primarily attacks by The Crazy Department on Cunning Stunts (i c wut u did ther). Art of War will be attacking Black Flag shortly thereafter on the island of Kiwara. Will Black Flag defend? Looks like they are going to--but then they have their own attack on brigand king Admiral Finius on Penobscot Island at 2:00 PM. 2:01 PM. Something like that.

It's also worth mentioning that the Tropic Class Sloop will only be available for a couple more days. I acquired one of these pretty shippies on Cerulean recently. Its layout is unique, with a triple-layered main deck stair-stepping up from fore to aft and all its carpentry, gunning, and bilge stations indoors. It's not a bad place to host a party, what with its huge tiki bar on the gun deck. It is, however, a somewhat long walk from the nav wheel to the hold. Anyway, it's available in shipyards through November 30, 2015 so if you want one you'd better act now.

Standard reminders: Schedule is given in Pirate Time, or U.S. Pacific. Player flags link to Yoweb information pages; Brigand King Flags link to Yppedia Brigand King pages. BK amassed power given in parenthetical numbers, like so: (14). For more info about jobbing contacts, jobber pay, and Event Blockade battle board configuration, check the Blockade tab of your ocean's Notice Board. To get hired, apply under the Voyages tab.

Doubloon Ocean Blockades

*** Saturday, November 28 ***

12:02 p.m. - Kakraphoon Island, Emerald Ocean
Defender: Cunning Stunts
Attacker: The Crazy Department
Attacker: Keep the Peace

12:03 p.m. - Arakoua Island, Emerald Ocean
Defender: Cunning Stunts
Attacker: The Crazy Department
Attacker: High Society

12:12 p.m. - Kiwara Island, Emerald Ocean
Defender: Black Flag
Attacker: Art of War

2:01 p.m. - Penobscot Island, Emerald Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Fleet of his Imperial Scaled Highness (6)
Attacker: Black Flag

6:00 p.m. - Surtsey Island, Meridian Ocean
Brigand King attack!
Defender: Trap House
Attacker: Chthonic Horde (3)

Subscription Ocean Blockades

*** Saturday, November 28 ***

11:25 a.m. - Remora Island, Cerulean Ocean
Event: 5 rounds, nonsinking
Hosted by: The Phoenix Rises

3:01 p.m. - Cnossos Island, Cerulean Ocean
Event: 7 rounds, nonsinking
Hosted by: Riding High


so long ago it seems like yesterday
Fri 2015-11-27 21:58:11 (single post)
  • 38,000 words (if poetry, lines) long
  • 757 words (if poetry, lines) long

Did I publish a Friday Fictionette today? Why, yes, I did! Hard to remember that was actually today, it happened such a while back--I posted it by about 11:30 AM. Once again, I gotta tip my imaginary hat to the brilliant idea of getting up on time.

Anyway, "The Oracle Takes You Back" this week to the days when Saturday mornings were magic and you knew all the tricks because, after all, Trix are for Kids. That's your excerpt link, which itself has links to the full-length PDF and MP3 versions which are accessible by Patrons at the per-month pledge tiers of $1 and $3 respectively. If you are not a Patron and would like to become one, follow any of those links, as they all include instructions on how to make it so.

Meanwhile, watch for one of this month's Fictionettes to go free to one and all on Monday. Which one? I don't know yet! I'm sure I'll figure it out by the end of the weekend.

Meanwhile in NaNoWriMo land, Perrie P. Peculiar so much enjoyed the prospect of being a full-on secondary character that she developed aspirations to protagonist status. And with a name like that, why the heck didn't she try to take over the novel sooner? Today's writing session, still underway, produced a scene entirely from her point of view. I think she's in danger. I think she's going to pull off a heist. I think it's all going to turn out OK, but not right away, because some serious suspense and conflict has to happen first.

I've got about 1,600 more words to write in order to meet today's goal of 3,466. I think I can do that in about an hour. Off I go--

they aspire to be secondary characters and get serious pagetime
Thu 2015-11-26 23:59:59 (single post)
  • 35,218 words (if poetry, lines) long

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone out there! I hope you're staying warm. Here in Boulder, temperatures "struggled to get out of the teens," to quote a winter weather advisory I read yesterday (and I thought, "Ah, struggling to get out of the teens. Sounds like most of my college career"). I woke up, saw the snow coming down, and promptly went back to sleep.

One of the things I am thankful for, speaking of Giving Thanks, is the opportunity to sleep in and do whatever I want all Thanksgiving Day long. I love my family and miss them, and I miss their traditional epic potlucks (oh, Gods, the shrimp-and-mirliton casserole), but I don't miss how the High Holy Days of Familial Obligation loomed over me and squashed me flat. It's so, so good to have a day off from everything.

Well, almost everything. Cat-sitting continues while our semi-next-door friends are out of town. Their cat is a beautiful, friendly, funny, and terribly needy kitty who will happily spend hours cuddling and nuzzling and dabbing a paw at your face if the quality of your petting is deemed inadequate. Learning how to get my writing done while making the kitty feel sufficiently loved has been an amusing challenge. He wants very much to drape himself over my forearms, and I am using those. But we manage.

Speaking of writing, that's another thing I don't get a day off from. Which is fine. Enjoyable, even. Which is sort of why I do this writing thing for an attempted living. A day with nothing to do but write? Heaven.

I'm about three-fourths the way through today's NaNoWriMo session, which I'll be returning to just as soon as I get done with this post. Today's session has been fueled by Plot Expansion Strategy #15: Promote a throwaway character to a secondary character. In other words, enlarge their role within the story.

The sometime-throwaway character I'm playing with is Perihelion Peculiar, of Perrie Peculiar's Private Peepers. Her original role, buried safely in the backstory, was in unearthing the main character's dad's cheating ways. Now the main character has contacted her again for help in figuring out what's up with the Director of the sleep research lab. He's scary, he's up to something, and he has begun showing up everywhere the main character goes. She's understandably freaked out about it.

I'm also making use of this strategy to flesh out the Director's own backstory. Apparently he's got an extensive criminal record, mostly white collar to be sure but with the occasional bloodstain. He's bad news. Stupid bad news. He's going to be bad news for everyone involved in this novel. If only I could figure out what, precisely, he wants.

Well, back to it for at least another 700 words.

they live just down the ice floe from us
Wed 2015-11-25 23:59:59 (single post)
  • 2,996 words (if poetry, lines) long
  • 31,328 words (if poetry, lines) long

The weather's getting a head start on tomorrow. It's been overcast all day, and now it's misting down a light sort of rain/sleet mix that's turning everything cement and asphalt into a death trap. I nearly injured myself just walking next door (well, two apartment complexes down) for the late-night cat-sitting visit. There were places where I couldn't walk at all, just "skate"--which is to say, hunker down into good derby position and just slide my sneakers forward very, very carefully.

Speaking of skating, there were plans bubbling through the league to have a Thanksgiving morning "fun skate" at our usual practice location--but with tomorrow's winter weather advisory and the ice only getting worse and the temperatures not predicted to climb above freezing tomorrow, I expect it ain't happening. Well, it might happen, but it'll most likely happen without me. Brrr.

So... a good day to catch up on NaNoWriMo, right? I have a bit of catching up to do. According to the "At this rate you will finish on..." metric, I'm 10 days behind. But according to the "Words per day to finish on time" metric, I only need to increase my daily session from the original 3,125 plan up to about 3,500 or so. This is entirely doable. I've introduced a new plot twist that should be good for at least another 5,000 words, and with any luck it will spawn further plot twists and maybe even a plot resolution.

And speaking of NaNoWriMo: Look look look! I have a title now.

In other writing news, "...Not with a Bang, But a Snicker" (the one about the snow-glue apocalypse) came home from its previous outing this weekend, and it's gone right back out tonight. #WriterDoingWriterThings

recovery day is slow but productive
Mon 2015-11-23 23:17:18 (single post)

Hi Boulder! I'm back.

It was a very long drive back, even longer than the drive down. This was because I stopped for dinner as well as lunch, and also because I missed the State Highway 219 component of my route and went some miles out of my way. This was how I discovered the Santa Rosa Triangle. It is less famous than the Bermuda Triangle, but much more relevant to the interests of a driver on US Highway 84 North who suddenly finds, after passing under I-40, that she's in fact on US Highway 84 South without any recollection of how this change was accomplished.

I got home last night around 11:45, babbled a little at my very patient husband, then collapsed in the bed. And I stayed there until well nigh ten this morning. The rest of the day was spent moving at about that speed, which is what recovery looks like.

So the big question is this: Was a four-hour roller derby clinic in Las Cruces really worth the 20-hour round-trip drive from Boulder? The answer, of course (of course!) is HELLS YEAH. The clinic was led by skaters from Victorian Roller Derby (Melbourne, Australia), the league that took third place in WFTDA's 2015 international championships. The four hours were tightly packed with solo blocking, two-person blocking, evasive jamming, and aggressive jamming skills. I took lots of notes which I will hopefully be able to read when it is time to transcribe and organize them for my league's benefit. It was an amazing opportunity and I'm glad I was able to take advantage of it.

I spent most of the ride back listening to Mark Oshiro read and react to Terry Pratchett's Lords and Ladies and Robin McKinley's Sunshine. Mark Oshiro's videos are my favorite audiobooks right now.

Moving slow or not, I still managed to add 3,133 words to my NaNoWriMo novel. It's been a good recovery day.

YPP Weekend Blockade Roundup for Nov 21, plus bonus Seal o' Piracy content
Sat 2015-11-21 11:25:10 (single post)

This weekend, as usual, several islands across the English-speaking oceans are up for grabs. That's what the weekend blockade scene is all about. On the forums, only Cerulean Parley is particularly talkative about it: here's Babylon's blockade intent for Cnossos, Riding High's intent to defend Cnossos, and Dragon Quest's announcement that they're not defending Tinga from Madame Yu Jian's fleet. Meanwhile, there's a couple blockades today on Emerald and Meridian each, and an event on Meridian's Garden Cradle scheduled for noon on Sunday.

Before we scroll it down to the complete and detailed blockade schedule, let's talk a moment about the November 2015 Seal o' Piracy, before it's not November anymore.

Don't be worried that it's so late in the month. This one's easy. You get it just by...

Completing two (2) sessions of foraging.

Everything normal counts. That is, you don't earn it in the Cursed Isles, but you earn it just about any other way you get to that puzzle. You can job with a crew that's foraging for fruit, and perform your labor dutifully. You can participate enthusiastically in a couple Buried Treasure expeditions (a couple, rather than one, because generally the expo only gives you one session at the puzzle). You can even forage for empty boxes on Tuesday, when the foraging puzzle is available even to those without subscriptions or labor badges.

Now, freeplay foraging is a little tricky. Although the puzzle becomes available to those without credentials, the "Apply" button next to any "Foraging with a Crew" job offers does not. So you'll have to finagle your way aboard a ship docked at an uninhabited, unbuilt island by some other strategy. (Sending a polite request via /tell to the jobbing officer has been known to yield favorable results.) Once you do, those practice foraging sessions do indeed count toward your Seal. I have verified this with Millefleur on the Meridian Ocean.

But that's much less fun than actually foraging valuable commodities, isn't it? The subscription/badge is totally worth it, especially since you can then take foraging jobs all the time, or sign on to work a crafting job at your crew's Distilling Stall or the like. Still, good to know you can get this badge without spending money. The holiday season is coming up, after all, making spirits bright but budgets somewhat tight.

Anyway, scroll on for the blockade schedule. Have fun out there!

Standard reminders: Schedule is given in Pirate Time, or U.S. Pacific. Player flags link to Yoweb information pages; Brigand King Flags link to Yppedia Brigand King pages. BK amassed power given in parenthetical numbers, like so: (14). For more info about jobbing contacts, jobber pay, and Event Blockade battle board configuration, check the Blockade tab of your ocean's Notice Board. To get hired, apply under the Voyages tab.

Doubloon Ocean Blockades

*** Saturday, November 21 ***

12:00 p.m. - Admiral Island, Emerald Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Fleet of his Imperial Scaled Highness (7)
Attacker: Qlimax

12:00 p.m. - Prolix Purlieu, Meridian Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: The Enlightened (7)
Attacker: Velt's Boiyz

12:00 p.m. - Penobscot Island, Emerald Ocean
Brigand King attack!
Defender: Adventure Time
Attacker: Fleet of his Imperial Scaled Highness (7)

2:47 p.m. - Ansel Island, Meridian Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Sea Wolves
Defender: The Jade Empire (1)
Attacker: Cannabis Nation

*** Sunday, November 22 ***

12:00 p.m. - Garden Cradle, Meridian Ocean
Event: 7 rounds, sinking!
Hosted by: Dragon Lords

Subscription Ocean Blockades

*** Saturday, November 21 ***

12:00 p.m. - Tinga Island, Cerulean Ocean
Brigand King attack!
Defender: Dragon's Quest
Attacker: The Jade Empire (5)

5:00 p.m. - Harmattan Island, Cerulean Ocean
Brigand King attack!
Defender: Adept Warriors
Attacker: Fleet of his Imperial Scaled Highness (3)

7:00 p.m. - Cnossos Island, Cerulean Ocean
Defender: Riding High
Attacker: Babylon

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