author: Nicole J. LeBoeuf

Heavens help me. Some scurvy arglebargler made me aware of the Viggle app. Click... click... click...

It is, they say, an app that lets you earn points for the media you consume (say, music and TV shows), then redeem those points for free media (say, ebooks and audiobooks). I like free, and I'm not above a bit of mindless clicking. Therefore, I'm doomed.

Now, as I've probably mentioned before, I am not yet smartphone-enabled. I have a flip phone--it makes phone calls, and for a bonus it sends and receives texts. It will take a picture, and if it is feeling very generous, it will allow me to send the picture somewhere. That's pretty much it. Oh, it's also my alarm clock.

But I have the Bluestacks Android emulator installed on my computer, and so I installed the Viggle app thereon.

There was a bit of a hitch at first. I'm told there's a way to manually tell the app what you're watching/listening to, but darned if I can find it. All I get is the screen that says "Listening..." And then it says, "Viggle can't quite hear your audio. Turn up the volume or try a different show or song."

And then that was it, until I finally went into the Windows Recording Devices interface, and disabled Acoustic Echo Cancellation and disallowed applications taking exclusive control of this device. They seemed like likely culprits.

Shortly after I did this, Viggle said, "Got it!" and told me to click the little bouncy V bubble. Click. It made thinky animations at me for a few seconds, and then it said, "You're listening to 'The Big Money' by Rush," and I said, "I sure am!" Then I clicked the "get your points" bar, and it took me back to the "Listening..." screen.

Then it told me to click again. "You're still listening to 'The Big Money' by Rush!" Why yes, little device, I am, and will be for roughly the next four minutes. But it gave me more points just for not turning off the song partway through and for being willing to click some more.

And so it went throughout the album, until we got to track four, "Marathon," and Viggle identified it as "Cosmic Breath" by Ansatheus. Perhaps Viggle's mistakes can function as a sort of "if you liked this, then try that" recommendation engine. Perhaps I'd really dig Ansatheus. I don't know. I clicked anyway.

This could be a terrible distraction during writing time. The good news is, Viggle has been telling me, "Viggle can't quite hear your audio" ever since I started up the Pomodoro Challenge Timer app. Maybe somehow the timer app is messing with Viggle's microphone access--

Wait, I spoke too soon. Viggle just got something. It says I'm listening to... "Legs In Tha Air (Dope Solution Remix)" by Yung Sheikh.

That doesn't sound remotely close to "Mystic Rhythms."

No, Viggle, it's not "Dub the Witch" by need2reason, either.

*sigh* Click.

Here's hoping I get some phat digital reading out of this experiment. Hugo Award nomination season is getting closer every day, yo.

We have a working washing machine again! I'm going to wash all of the clothes tomorrow. And the towels. And my exercise pants. And etcetera.

It was, as suspected, just a matter of replacing the lid sensor switch. Very simple--only, like I said before, I wasn't going to mess with it and maybe mess things up with either it or our home warranty policy or both. So today we had a visit from an appliance technician who opened things up, confirmed that it really was just the lid sensor switch and nothing else, and replaced that switch for us. And we gave him a check for the amount of the warranty co-pay.

And life was once more that particular sort of good that you get when you can wash your clothes without leaving the house, paying attention to business hours, and/or scrounging quarters.

The fun part was getting to see what the washing machine looked like under the hood. Our model requires one to pop off the end-caps of the front panel in order to reveal the access screws, then unscrew those screws to flip up the front panel, then simply walk off the entire chassis and lid. I didn't realize how little solid machine there was inside the big white aluminum rectangle--it's just a big flimsy metal box that gives the washtub somewhere to live. And also the lid sensor; the bit the technician replaced seemed to be attached to the inside of the chassis there.

It's OK if you're not getting a perfect visualization of the machine's innards from that abomination of a paragraph. Point is--OK, so, I'm thinking of one of John's T-shirts. The one with the slogan, "The insides of things are beautiful. Let's see what they look like." I'm feeling that slogan so very much right now.

There is probably a metaphor for writing in there somewhere. Something about the literary equivalent of taking it apart and finding out what the insides look like: examining the author's choices on a line-by-line level, or watching how they make two themes interact, or spotting that clever bit of foreshadowing on the reread. And sometimes you can't quite figure out how to take the story apart until you've had a chance to discuss it with someone else, or read an insightful review, and then you go, "Oh! So that's how you open it up and get at the lid sensor switch!" Something like that, anyway.

It's not "overthinking it." It's reverse engineering.

Finally got the audio version of last Friday's fictionette up. Don't know why it took me so long. Guess I've been in kinda full bumming-around-the-house mode since I got back from Avon. The two-hour drive home in the sun was so much more exhausting than the four-hour round trip between Avon and DIA at night. It sort of took it out of me.

But it's Monday. Dragging around the house on a Monday is OK. But what happens on a Monday gets left behind with Monday when it turns Tuesday. Tuesday is working hard day! Just you watch!

In reading through the fictionette, I noticed and fixed two typos, so after uploading the MP3 I got to upload a new version of the PDF and correct the excerpts posted to Patreon and here. And this is why I try most weeks to record the MP3 before publishing the fictionette in any format--reading aloud is my best method of proof reading. Even reading the piece slowly so that I could "hear" my voice reading it aloud in my head--which I did while out at dinner Friday night--isn't quite as effective.

Thankfully, Patreon has greatly improved their publishing experience, such that it is now possible to delete and re-upload attachments. Genius, right? Used to be you couldn't do that, which made late-discovered typos terribly frustrating. But now it's simple.

In other news, John and I have been watching a lot of Steven Universe lately. Steven Universe is a cartoon that is awesome and you should watch it. It is good for the heart, it is emotionally deep and gloriously silly, it is constructed with such meticulous care that no detail can be rightly called "throw-away," and it boasts some amazing voice acting talent as well as a cast of characters who are wildly diverse in a delightfully unmarked way. (And it's totally stolen a plot point from my semi-trunked novel trilogy, but nevermind, it's my bad for not having converted it from semi-trunked to publishable by now.)

I've just discovered Vrai's recaps at The Mary Sue. These are smart and rewarding reading, articles that love to delve deep into subtext, point out resonances with other popular animated works, and revel in the show's unapologetic yet entirely understated political statements.

Don't know where I was going with that. What is this, a thesis? Go click on the links and read smart articles and watch good cartoons. That is all.

It's Friday, and the fictionette for the first week in September is up! Its working title has become its actual title--"Still Life with Coyote"--and it's in the format of an interview. With a coyote. Just because.

Thing about being in a hotel room, even a very nice one with a small kitchen and a separate bedroom, is that there really isn't a lot of extra space to make into a recording studio. It's pretty much whatever room isn't occupied. So I'm going to wait until tomorrow morning early to record the MP3 edition, while John's still asleep in bed and I have the kitchen/living/dining room area to myself, because the kitchen table is oodles more comfortable for recording at. I'll update both excerpts to include the MP3 link at that time.

The past couple of days have been pretty relaxed. After John's daily phone meeting (working vacation, remember), we've been walking across the street over to Loaded Joe's for breakfast-with-computers. They have a pretty extensive menu these days; I had the brioche french toast yesterday and the philly steak burrito today. These were delicious. John had their fried eggs over medium both days. He reports they cook it perfectly.

And now for a brief culinary tangent: Your classic Philly Cheesesteak, that involves onions and green peppers, right? Green bell peppers? The philly steak burrito had mild jalapeños instead. Not a complaint! Just an observation.

Afternoon naps continue to be a necessity, helped along by the daily afternoon rain shower we've been getting. Tuesday and Wednesday were the only exceptions, so it was a good thing I went trail-skating Wednesday.

It's been an underwhelming week for writing. I've pretty much only gotten to my morning gotta-do tasks, and nothing else. I thought I'd get a whole bunch of work done on the short story revision, but as it turns out, I acted like I was on vacation or something. Funny thing about that.

Well. Next week is back-to-normal week. Let's see if I can locate an acceptable normal.

Guess what?! I went skating today. Just for an hour, but still.

We drove over to the Riverwalk at Edwards, had a little lunch at Local Joe's Pizza (not to be confused with Loaded Joe's, whose Avon location is still on my to-be-visited list this week), then settled into the Bookworm's cafe. Then, after a little work time, I put the computer away, went down to the car, and geared up.

Now, I've skated the 8-mile round trip between Avon and Edwards, with the Bookworm as my westmost point each time. Today I thought I'd see what the trail did if I took it farther west. Surprise! The trail doesn't go farther west. There's the rickety wooden bridge that crosses under Edwards Village Road, which deposited me either into a residential area when I took it across the river or into the parking lot across the road if I didn't; and then back up by the rec center there's a loop around a little lake in the park just before the Colorado Mountain College campus, but alas, no real mileage beyond that. I thought about putting in my mouthguard and messing around in the skate park by the rec center, but the thought of being there without any friends to watch out for me made me nervous.

Still, got an hour's good skating in, with uphills working my endurance and downhills working my stability and my plow stops. It wasn't team practice, but it was a darn good substitute I think.

And then, dear reader, John and I went back to the hotel and collapsed for the afternoon.

(The Daily Afternoon Nap appears to be an important part of our vacation itinerary.)

Hello from Avon, Colorado! John and I have run away from home for the week, as we sometimes do. It's a working vacation for both of us, but the change of scenery is always nice, as is that freedom from household responsibility that comes from staying in a hotel.

Also, there's having the week off from roller derby practice. Only I have very mixed feelings about that, since our B team has a home tournament to play in less than three weeks. John, on the other hand, desperately needed the recovery time after traveling to Detroit to be part of the coaching force for our A team at the second round of Division 2 playoffs. Still, he and I are both seriously considering that, when we check out of the hotel on Sunday, we could drive straight back to the Longmont YMCA and go to that afternoon's practice.

I do plan to spend some time while up here on skates. If the weather holds fair, tomorrow might be a nice day to take the trail from Avon to Edwards. I did that a couple years ago, and it was fabulous. The miles flew by. And the Bookworm in Edwards didn't seem to mind my sweaty self wandering in with kneepads on and skates in my hand to buy a book and drink a latte. Then again, they didn't mind sweaty bicyclists in logo-covered spandex coming in off the trail, either. They are very accommodating of active lifestyles in Eagle County.

After lunch at [Bob's Place] (an Avon institution), I have already been to the Avon Public Library and checked out an armful of books. I made a beeline for their collection of Terry Pratchett hardbacks, because I came in with a deep need to reread Unseen Academicals. Then since I was in the Ps already, I selected a Tim Powers novella, "Salvage and Demolition." In the comic book section, Astro City: Through Open Doors jumped out at me, not least because the author has been a frequent participant in all the Hugo-adjacent conversation over at File770. And then I visited the new fiction shelf, because I intend to cast a nomination ballot for the 2015 Hugo Awards, so I'd better start reading stuff that's eligible. Max Gladstone's Last First Snow was a no-brainer choice, seeing as how I adored Three Parts Dead and Two Serpents Rise.

Writing-wise, I spent today catching up on last week's fictionette stuff. The MP3 is up as well as the PDF for "How Featherkind Got Its Song," and they are both free to download by anyone who'd like to--I've made the August 28th offering the Fictionette Freebie for the month. I'm not entirely happy with it, as the author's note attests, but I feel like the most honest response to the problematic implications is to open it up to others' feedback and maybe learn how to do it better next time. Or else learn that I'm just whining and insecure and being all look-at-my-self-flagellation about something that's really no big deal and I should shut up. I'm not sure which.

(This week's fictionette is going to be a lot more fun. I am tentatively calling it "Still Life with Coyote.")

Tomorrow, once I get my Morning Gotta-Dos done, I mean to dedicate the rest of my writing time entirely to short story revision. Go me.

And now to join John in front of the TV, where he's watching archived bout footage from D2 Cleveland. No, wait, D2 Detroit archives are up already! Awesome! Time to rewatch Boulder's game against Brewcity. Go derby!

I'm late, and I'm going to be even later. I just put up the PDF edition of the Friday Fictionette for August 28, "How Featherkind Got Its Song." Patrons pledging at least $1/month can download it right this second. Hurrah!

And now I must run to pick up John at the airport. Since I'm coming from and returning to Avon, Colorado, we're looking at a round trip between four and five hours. That means the following probably won't be up until tomorrow morning sometime: the MP3 edition (available to patrons pledging $3/month), or the excerpt (available to everyone), or the Fictionette Freebie for August 2015. Damn and blast.

But hey, now you've got something to look forward to, right?

Talk to you then.

Note: Apparently my Puzzle Pirates Examiner gig got terminated last week, but I never noticed until I tried to post the Blockade Schedule this morning and the drop-down menu for assigning an article to one column or the other was missing. Alas! I suppose I'll have to focus more on Boulder Writing Examiner, just like I meant to.

Some YPP players have expressed appreciation for the blockade roundups, though, and I certainly get some benefit out of having a single place to reference the blockade schedules for all 5 oceans; so I thought I'd keep right on publishing them here. Enjoy!

Ahoy, mateys! What's this? Why, there's a blockade on the Jade Ocean this weekend--that of Saturday, August 29--and it's by a flag that your humble chronicler has never had cause to mention before! HIPOCAMPOS is attacking Horda Catatónica on Arco Ascalón, and sending a message to Barnabás el Pálido under no uncertain terms that he needs to get off their lawn. I mean island. That's going down at 4:14 p.m. Pirate Time, but it probably won't be going on for long, since the Brigand King under attack is shown at a fleet strength of 1. Get in on this while supplies last, is what I'm saying.

Speaking of blockades in other languages than English, the Opal Ocean's one blockade of the weekend is currently underway, having begun at 10:04 a.m. or thereabouts. It also is an attempt to wrest control of an island--in this case, Paihia-Insel--back from a Brigand King, and that BK also is down to a fleet strength of 1, so its days are numbered. Its minutes, too.

On the Cerulean Ocean, Babylon has just a moment ago announced the intent not to defend Delta and Ostreum Islands from Dies Irae. (This is a change of stance from an earlier post asserting the intent to "blockade every island Dies Irae holds.") They assert unsporting conduct on DI's part, and intend not to defend against or attack DI for the foreseeable future. DI have responded in the mature, measured manner which we are accustomed to seeing from them.

Meanwhile we have four blockades on the schedule for Emerald and a couple on Meridian--wait, make that five on Meridian; three got added right before the noon deadline, they'll take place round about noon tomorrow--though not a lot of forum chatter to give it much context. Regardless, you know what to do: Get in there, earn some PoE, and spend it on fancy fun things--like the brand new furniture items that were added to the game this week!

Standard reminders: Schedule is given in Pirate Time, or U.S. Pacific. Player flags link to Yoweb information pages; Brigand King Flags link to Yppedia Brigand King pages. BK amassed power given in parenthetical numbers, like so: (14). For more info about jobbing contacts, jobber pay, and Event Blockade battle board configuration, check the Blockade tab of your ocean's Notice Board. To get hired, apply under the Voyages tab.

Doubloon Ocean Blockades

*** Saturday, August 29 ***

10:04 a.m. - Paihia-Insel, Opal Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Die Erleuchteten (1)
Attacker: Forcas Armadas

12:00 p.m. - Iocane Island, Emerald Ocean
Brigand King attack!
Defender: Rebound
Attacker: Jinx (3)

1:00 p.m. - Duat Island, Meridian Ocean
Defender: Devil's Advocates
Attacker: Per Angusta Ad Augusta

1:56 p.m. - Corona Reef, Meridian Ocean
Defender: Chocolate Coated
Attacker: WE ARE UNITED

4:08 p.m. - Cryo Island, Emerald Ocean
Defender: Why So Rich
Attacker: This Means War

4:14 p.m. - Arco Ascalón, Jade Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Horda Catatónica (1)
Attacker: HIPOCAMPOS

5:40 p.m. - Doyle Island, Emerald Ocean
Brigand King holds the island!
Defender: Fleet of his Imperial Scaled Highness (2)
Attacker: This Means War

*** Sunday, August 30 ***

9:24 a.m. - Blackthorpe Island, Emerald Ocean
Event: 1 round, nonsinking
Hosted by: No Offence Intended

11:43 a.m. - Havoc Island, Meridian Ocean
Defender: The Warriors
Attacker: Per Angusta Ad Augusta

11:58 a.m. - Harmattan Island, Meridian Ocean
Defender: Indifference
Attacker: Imperial Coalition

12:00 p.m. - Carmine Island, Meridian Ocean
Defender: Indifference
Attacker: Imperial Coalition

Subscription Ocean Blockades

*** Sunday, August 30 ***

10:02 a.m. - Ostreum Island, Cerulean Ocean
Defender: Babylon
Attacker: Dies Irae

10:02 a.m. - Delta Island, Cerulean Ocean
Defender: Babylon
Attacker: Dies Irae

In some ways, today rocked. In others, it was made of fail. Guess which one all things writing-related fell into?

This week's Friday Fictionette, as well as the blog post of substance that should accompany it, will appear tomorrow. Today, I'm turning in early. Sorry, y'all.

G'night.

So this morning was Go Time. John had to get to the airport for an 11:45 a.m. flight, which meant leaving the house at 9:00. I set my alarm for 8:00 so I'd have time to do my Morning Pages before we left. (I get to click the happy habit plus-mark on Habitica if I do them immediately upon getting up. Clicking the happy plus-mark gives me gold and experience points.) And I went to bed reasonably on time last night, so I figured even with a little reading in bed I should get enough sleep.

Well, that alarm went off. I hit snooze and lay back down. And then memory hit me like an elbow-guard to the face. "You're not allowed to snooze," memory said. And I wanted to cry. You know that feeling? You're just settling back into the pillows, and then you remember why you can't afford to go back to sleep? And you realize that it is no longer your turn to sleep, and you do not get another turn for another--what, eighteen hours? You know that moment of utter despair?

In that moment, all the angst of my teenage years revisits me with a tackle-hug. Only not like a tackle-hug. There's nothing huggy about it. There's just a tackle.

So, influenced by the unreliable mean brain chemicals of being half-asleep, I said to myself, "Eff it. I'm going back to sleep. I'll do my Pages after dropping John off at the airport." (I have to click the sad habit minus-sign on Habitica if I don't do my Pages immediately upon getting up. Clicking the sad minus-sign makes me lose hit points.)

But as I settled into the pillows once more, defiant and cranky, I realized two things:

1. My body suddenly didn't want to go back to sleep.
2. I was seriously craving tea. Like, fantasizing about it.

I have very little control over whether 1. happens. Nearly forty years in this body, I still haven't figure it out. Bodies, y'all! Am I right? I'm totally right. But something I do have control over is my morning routine. The routine goes like this: Get up, make the bed if it's empty, start the kettle, water the plants, pour boiling water over tea bag, take tea and notebook and fountain pen and possibly bottle of ink out to the patio table, do Morning Pages. Given enough repetition, all those things become associated with each other in interesting ways.

I wasn't looking forward to getting up and beginning the routine. But in my mind, the thought of the routine tasted like a strong cup of Taylor's of Harrogate Pure Assam. And I wanted that taste in my mouth very, very badly.

So I got up. And I got my Pages done on time. And I got John to the airport early. And it was all because I was craving my morning cup of tea.

They say that it's not too smart to rely on specific tools for your writing routine. What if your special fountain pen breaks, or you can't find your lucky notebook, or Scrivener crashes and won't get up again? What if there's no T. of H. Assam tea in the house? The associations you create to help you write can also hinder your writing if they break down.

But when they work, hoo boys 'n girls do they work.